So I ask myself, "Self? What's the most brutal way to heinously and inhumanely torture a rock n' roll fan....a person, perhaps, like myself?" And the answer came to me.....".Go on tour with Barbra Streisand." SWEET, I'M IN (said with uninspired ambivalence).
On June 11th I flew from Phoenix to Los Angeles then to London and ended in Zurich, Switzerland on June 12th around 4 p.m. local time to begin the Barbra “only rich people can afford to see me” Streisand tour. Other than the mole-covered head of the man in front of me being virtuallly in my lap the entire flight and the 400 pound man directly behind me doing kickboxing to the back of my seat, it was quite the enjoyable flight! Here's some of my crew guys doing airport appreciation.......
I would like to introduce you to some of the fellow video fellas I’m working with on the Streisand tour, because they are quite the cast of characters:
First of all.....my buddy..........Scotty Lutton - seen here trying to steal a car.......Scotty and I spent the last year side by side bitching at each other but also laughing our asses off at each other on Red Hot Chili Peppers! He is my best bud in all of touring I think.........I also did two tours of Metallica with him! Love him to death!!!!!!!! Oh! And this guy talks faster than I have ever dreamed of talking! Takes the heat off me for awhile!
Next up is Matt Howe. I did the Z-100 show with Matt in New York last December....And I will be doing a show in Dublin next week on Streisand tour days off for The Killers with him. This is about as normal as Matt gets........
And beside Matt in this picture is Roy Fountain. Funny enough, 11 years ago I worked 11 days at the Iowa State Fair with Roy on one of my very first professional gigs ever!!!! Roy is from Macon, Georgia and virtually every story starts like this...."So me and my Pa had a few beers and were at a goat sale the other day........." He is still as funny as he was 11 years ago....
Next up - Mike Johnson. Mike is from L.A. and has a great outlook on life! Very fun to be around - but not big on candid photos (or at least those he knows of anyway.....wait til later in the blog....hee hee hee).
And finally........Jerry McReynolds - the most non-expressive/emotion- showing person in the business to date. But he loves to drink with me and he was also my engineer for the past year on Red Hot Chili Peppers......my Peppers boys will always hold a place in my heart!
Here's a picture of Jer-Bear.....
As you can tell from these pictures, we have declared many a “production meeting” over tall frothy beverages! (You look surprised…) Don’t worry – we hopped straight on the train to Rehalp (rehab & help in the same place? Convenience is everything, no?)
ER_PHOTO_ID_508
After all of our "planning" (burp) it was time to get down to some work!!!!!!!!
In Zurich, the venue was about 6 blocks from our hotel – so we often opted to walk to rehearsals! On the way, we passed this commune/garden community (I must say I was worried that many of the guys were going to climb the fence in search of the “hippie connection” since they have been suffering through a terrible “draught” since we’ve been here…..and so edgy! They are all so edgy! Geez!) Anyway, it turns out that the Switzerland government owns these plots of lands and rents them to people living in the city on 10-year contracts so that these inner-city dwellers can have a place to go and garden. It’s very cool – on the weekends this place was packed with people sitting on the tiny shack porches, cooking out, and meticulously caring for their 20 ft. by 20 ft. grass stamp – it’s like a vacation yard!
Well finally, a few days before the show, the diva of all divas shows up, white lap dog in tow and donning a wide-rimmed hat and glasses, to rehearse. What is beyond hysterical to me is how high and fast the tension mounts as she crosses the threshold of the door. “She’s in the building, she’s here! Oh my god! Everyone to positions – Barbra is on stage” (as 100 people scamper about as if to avoid a thrashing by the Queen). As the orchestra stands and applauds her (just her mere presence requires adoration, I guess) while she takes her place stage center (where else), she is handed a microphone and strolls over to her show designer, Richard where she gives him the obligatory diva-double cheek kiss (where the cheeks barely touch and then you just kiss the air beside the ear with a subdued shreik all the while being careful not to smear any lip gloss). Then the rest of the rehearsal goes something like this……
“Papa can you hear me? Uh, Karen, the last time I was here I had some coffee and chocolate flavored candies, see if you can find some for me. Oh, and the eye drops from my dressing room, bring them to me please. Papa can you see me? Oh hi Samantha – hello baby…who’s the cutest puppy in the world – hi baby….Papa can you help me not be frightened….is that the camera out there? It’s off to the side a little, right? You know how I hate the right side of my face to be shown…..”
And so that was about the first 15 minutes. Is this for real? At this point, I am using the utmost restraint to not let out an obnoxious cackle at the stereotypical absurdity. I keep telling myself – it’s only 6 weeks. But then, on her way out, entourage and white dog at her heel, she waved to the crew (which had gathered for a meeting on the side of the stage) and thanked us all. Hmmm…….I’m confused by this random act of kindness…..Could she actually be…..dare I say it……nice?
On the 6th day in Zurich, we finally had a day off before the big show. So after doing laundry, me and Mike from my crew decided we should have another look at old town Zurich and we got back on the train to Rehalp. After wondering around and looking at the beautiful lake...
We ran into…….. “the caterers.”
I say that in quotes because they are this unbelievably spiritual entity that must be referred to as one collective group. (And by spiritual I mean high-spirited, well, really, I mean spirits – libations – drinks, man!). How does the saying go? “That which is achieved by the group is greater than the sum of the individual,” (and that goes for sight-seeing, laughter, and unfortunately, intoxication – I feel like I’m in college all over again.) These three together are dangerously entertaining.
So what started out as a casual stroll with Mike has now landed me in the “hell section” of Zurich (I can’t pronounce or spell the area- but the name actually translates to “hell”) with three of the craziest, funniest, drinkers that I have ever met. That’s right , hell: Prostitutes, drunks, and a general collection of shady lurkers. Sweet - I’m in! Let me offically introduce you to this band of merry revelers: Deron, Jolene, & Charlie.
This is Deron (a dead-ringer for Heath Ledger - he is from Australia, lives in Finland and fancies Tequila with a coffee/sugar soaked lemon......don't ask - I tried it and it almost came back up!)
Enter Charlie..........He's English and lives in London - apparently a rare breed! Charlie is quite the clown and is teaching me various Cockney quips - which I would love to enlighten you with - but I'm still tryin to get my head around it! Hilarious - but bizarre! He's promised to buy me a book about it when we get to London!
HELLO SAILOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Explanation to come!)
And finally - my long lost sister........JOLENE. Jolene is Welsh - AKA "Welshy." I have found it best when hanging out with her to keep a pen in hand and a cocktail napkin very close by, because the rate of funny shit that comes out of this girl's mouth is so fast, that it must be written down in order to finish laughing and recovering from the first statement before giving the second one its proper due.
So my first official night out with the caterers was quite the education. I learned about tequila and coffee/sugar lemons - yak. I learned about the 500 meter rule (walk no further than 500 meters without stopping for a drink).
I began to learn the many faces of Jolene (this is an ongoing project).
I learned that, even in Zurich, I think I’m a karaoke superstar……
and that other people who appear as karaoke superstars might want money for their services of hanging out with you (Juliette was really fun, right up until she uttered the words, “you pay me now!”)
Holy crap..........I had to race out of there - I keep forgettng I'm actually here to work. Holy Hangover!!!!!! Boooooh! Work getting in the way of another European vacation - dammit!
Next night was our first show! Everyone was definitely on edge! But, alas, the show went great! And I can't lie.......when Barbra hits certain notes, I get the chills! She definitely has a set of pipes on her! Hang on - keep your pants on - I'm not becoming a full-fledged fan or anything......let's just say I have respect for her talent and her ability to make me wake up with one of her damn songs stuck in my head every day. I guess she's alright. hehe
Wow.........that was quite a bit of excitement for the first week! I have a ton of other stories still to tell, but my new best mate Jolene has called and we are parched for a beer! So I must be off now...............but next update - Imperial palaces, tornados, wasabi peas, my birthday, boatrides, Hitler, and plastic surgeons! How's that for a cliff hanger???? Me and my roommate "Spidey" (who hung OUTside my window all week) below are signing off from Zurich............Much love........
On June 11th I flew from Phoenix to Los Angeles then to London and ended in Zurich, Switzerland on June 12th around 4 p.m. local time to begin the Barbra “only rich people can afford to see me” Streisand tour. Other than the mole-covered head of the man in front of me being virtuallly in my lap the entire flight and the 400 pound man directly behind me doing kickboxing to the back of my seat, it was quite the enjoyable flight! Here's some of my crew guys doing airport appreciation.......
I would like to introduce you to some of the fellow video fellas I’m working with on the Streisand tour, because they are quite the cast of characters:
First of all.....my buddy..........Scotty Lutton - seen here trying to steal a car.......Scotty and I spent the last year side by side bitching at each other but also laughing our asses off at each other on Red Hot Chili Peppers! He is my best bud in all of touring I think.........I also did two tours of Metallica with him! Love him to death!!!!!!!! Oh! And this guy talks faster than I have ever dreamed of talking! Takes the heat off me for awhile!
Next up is Matt Howe. I did the Z-100 show with Matt in New York last December....And I will be doing a show in Dublin next week on Streisand tour days off for The Killers with him. This is about as normal as Matt gets........
And beside Matt in this picture is Roy Fountain. Funny enough, 11 years ago I worked 11 days at the Iowa State Fair with Roy on one of my very first professional gigs ever!!!! Roy is from Macon, Georgia and virtually every story starts like this...."So me and my Pa had a few beers and were at a goat sale the other day........." He is still as funny as he was 11 years ago....
Next up - Mike Johnson. Mike is from L.A. and has a great outlook on life! Very fun to be around - but not big on candid photos (or at least those he knows of anyway.....wait til later in the blog....hee hee hee).
And finally........Jerry McReynolds - the most non-expressive/emotion- showing person in the business to date. But he loves to drink with me and he was also my engineer for the past year on Red Hot Chili Peppers......my Peppers boys will always hold a place in my heart!
Here's a picture of Jer-Bear.....
As you can tell from these pictures, we have declared many a “production meeting” over tall frothy beverages! (You look surprised…) Don’t worry – we hopped straight on the train to Rehalp (rehab & help in the same place? Convenience is everything, no?)
ER_PHOTO_ID_508
After all of our "planning" (burp) it was time to get down to some work!!!!!!!!
In Zurich, the venue was about 6 blocks from our hotel – so we often opted to walk to rehearsals! On the way, we passed this commune/garden community (I must say I was worried that many of the guys were going to climb the fence in search of the “hippie connection” since they have been suffering through a terrible “draught” since we’ve been here…..and so edgy! They are all so edgy! Geez!) Anyway, it turns out that the Switzerland government owns these plots of lands and rents them to people living in the city on 10-year contracts so that these inner-city dwellers can have a place to go and garden. It’s very cool – on the weekends this place was packed with people sitting on the tiny shack porches, cooking out, and meticulously caring for their 20 ft. by 20 ft. grass stamp – it’s like a vacation yard!
Well finally, a few days before the show, the diva of all divas shows up, white lap dog in tow and donning a wide-rimmed hat and glasses, to rehearse. What is beyond hysterical to me is how high and fast the tension mounts as she crosses the threshold of the door. “She’s in the building, she’s here! Oh my god! Everyone to positions – Barbra is on stage” (as 100 people scamper about as if to avoid a thrashing by the Queen). As the orchestra stands and applauds her (just her mere presence requires adoration, I guess) while she takes her place stage center (where else), she is handed a microphone and strolls over to her show designer, Richard where she gives him the obligatory diva-double cheek kiss (where the cheeks barely touch and then you just kiss the air beside the ear with a subdued shreik all the while being careful not to smear any lip gloss). Then the rest of the rehearsal goes something like this……
“Papa can you hear me? Uh, Karen, the last time I was here I had some coffee and chocolate flavored candies, see if you can find some for me. Oh, and the eye drops from my dressing room, bring them to me please. Papa can you see me? Oh hi Samantha – hello baby…who’s the cutest puppy in the world – hi baby….Papa can you help me not be frightened….is that the camera out there? It’s off to the side a little, right? You know how I hate the right side of my face to be shown…..”
And so that was about the first 15 minutes. Is this for real? At this point, I am using the utmost restraint to not let out an obnoxious cackle at the stereotypical absurdity. I keep telling myself – it’s only 6 weeks. But then, on her way out, entourage and white dog at her heel, she waved to the crew (which had gathered for a meeting on the side of the stage) and thanked us all. Hmmm…….I’m confused by this random act of kindness…..Could she actually be…..dare I say it……nice?
On the 6th day in Zurich, we finally had a day off before the big show. So after doing laundry, me and Mike from my crew decided we should have another look at old town Zurich and we got back on the train to Rehalp. After wondering around and looking at the beautiful lake...
We ran into…….. “the caterers.”
I say that in quotes because they are this unbelievably spiritual entity that must be referred to as one collective group. (And by spiritual I mean high-spirited, well, really, I mean spirits – libations – drinks, man!). How does the saying go? “That which is achieved by the group is greater than the sum of the individual,” (and that goes for sight-seeing, laughter, and unfortunately, intoxication – I feel like I’m in college all over again.) These three together are dangerously entertaining.
So what started out as a casual stroll with Mike has now landed me in the “hell section” of Zurich (I can’t pronounce or spell the area- but the name actually translates to “hell”) with three of the craziest, funniest, drinkers that I have ever met. That’s right , hell: Prostitutes, drunks, and a general collection of shady lurkers. Sweet - I’m in! Let me offically introduce you to this band of merry revelers: Deron, Jolene, & Charlie.
This is Deron (a dead-ringer for Heath Ledger - he is from Australia, lives in Finland and fancies Tequila with a coffee/sugar soaked lemon......don't ask - I tried it and it almost came back up!)
Enter Charlie..........He's English and lives in London - apparently a rare breed! Charlie is quite the clown and is teaching me various Cockney quips - which I would love to enlighten you with - but I'm still tryin to get my head around it! Hilarious - but bizarre! He's promised to buy me a book about it when we get to London!
HELLO SAILOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Explanation to come!)
And finally - my long lost sister........JOLENE. Jolene is Welsh - AKA "Welshy." I have found it best when hanging out with her to keep a pen in hand and a cocktail napkin very close by, because the rate of funny shit that comes out of this girl's mouth is so fast, that it must be written down in order to finish laughing and recovering from the first statement before giving the second one its proper due.
So my first official night out with the caterers was quite the education. I learned about tequila and coffee/sugar lemons - yak. I learned about the 500 meter rule (walk no further than 500 meters without stopping for a drink).
I began to learn the many faces of Jolene (this is an ongoing project).
I learned that, even in Zurich, I think I’m a karaoke superstar……
and that other people who appear as karaoke superstars might want money for their services of hanging out with you (Juliette was really fun, right up until she uttered the words, “you pay me now!”)
Holy crap..........I had to race out of there - I keep forgettng I'm actually here to work. Holy Hangover!!!!!! Boooooh! Work getting in the way of another European vacation - dammit!
Next night was our first show! Everyone was definitely on edge! But, alas, the show went great! And I can't lie.......when Barbra hits certain notes, I get the chills! She definitely has a set of pipes on her! Hang on - keep your pants on - I'm not becoming a full-fledged fan or anything......let's just say I have respect for her talent and her ability to make me wake up with one of her damn songs stuck in my head every day. I guess she's alright. hehe
Wow.........that was quite a bit of excitement for the first week! I have a ton of other stories still to tell, but my new best mate Jolene has called and we are parched for a beer! So I must be off now...............but next update - Imperial palaces, tornados, wasabi peas, my birthday, boatrides, Hitler, and plastic surgeons! How's that for a cliff hanger???? Me and my roommate "Spidey" (who hung OUTside my window all week) below are signing off from Zurich............Much love........
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